Break Down...

Some of you may know that I have a almost 2 year old child, he's my world, when he hurts I hurt, and go Bananas...

Yesterday mid-afternoon, we were driving to put gas, and some how he just untied him self. All I heard was him crying, I looked back.....and he wasn''t in his seat... Once I got to the gas station, I seen him on the car floor. I sat him down, and started to pump... He told me Aaawwoooiii, and when I turned to look at my poor baby, his right side of his head was gushing out with blood. =( I was a wreck...I know that this I will never forget.... My Little guy is a Fighter....he's doing so much better =)

Today Has been crazy, I woke up at around 2:30 am, and couldn't go back to sleep...I have been over exhausted...I'm running on empty right now... But Hey as long as Anthony keeps me on my feet, I will run =)

Changes....

"I got Love for my Brother,
But we can never go nowhere
unless we share with each other,
We gotta make changes,
Learn to see me as a Brother,
Instead of two distant Stranger's."


Life has to be a constant struggle. If you can't see life's changes, your living Blind.

I may not be in my mid twenties, But I am a mother, who looks out for a Child. My little guy is the one I look after, and before.

I am a married woman who wishes at times that I wasn't. Life may suck, but I would never say Fuck my life. I am thankful that God put me here for more than 20 years. Most important of all is that God gave me the strength to be a strong Mother.

I am a friend, who sees your wrongs and your rights. A friend you can come talk to about any thing, and You will always know that I am an unopened book. No one will ever find out what we have talked about unless you give me the O.K to speak.

I am a sister, who speaks of you when asked, who has carried anger inside me for you. Who will let my Gard down for you. I will throw away my life just to make you Happy.

I am a auntie, who has carried with four extra kids in one day, for no reason. I have took you under my wing, so that no one would hurt any of you. I am the one you call Auntie, I am also the one you have hit out of anger, with your words, your bad behavior, and I was there when No one but me, was there to feed you a bottle, hearing four other's cry. I have put my Son last to take good care of you, and that is no more

I am a daughter, who seems to be just a side of distractions, I am here for you only when YOU need me. I am here when you need to take out your anger. I am here for when you get home your house is spotless, and your dinner is cooked.

I have decided to CHANGE.
Every time I talk it goes in one ear, and come out of thee other. I have a voice, that no one but my enemies have heard. I have had the short string for many years, now I want it my way.

I have been called a Bitch, by them who have said they Love me, I have been called a back stabber, again by them who have said they Love me. Do I have to show them what a real Back stabbing Bitch looks like?

I have been here for all these people who have a special spot in my heart, I just cant stand it any more.

All I ask for is to be alone. In my own room, with my own son, with every thing MY own.
I just need to be listened to.

Better yet, I HAVE BEEN HERE....NO MORE!!!

侘寂

I haven't posted on my blog for a while now, and so I want to catch up on my latest thing I have purchased. Also, I want to give you a little inside tip on how to wear PINK tights.

For Mother's Day, I decided to wear, a black dress, similar to this one, with some pink tights, and for the High heels I wore some silver pumps. I have to say all the attention I got was amazing. I'm more than sure that I got criticized a lot, but hey I like to STAND OUT. 

Dress: Roper, I had my Tia, shorten the sleeves so it would be 3/4.
Tights: PINK Victoria Secret
Heels: Silver High Heels
Necklace: Vintage Clear beads
Earrings: Silver, and black Flower's

侘寂 WABI SABI, [The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent and incomplete"]

I wore the tights to show another side of me, I like to mix up my style, I like to see how other's react, also to bring idea's to the table, for people who wouldn't buy things so bold. =]

Saturday Afternoon Jo took me to Walgreen's for some foundation, and I have to say this is Maybelline Fit Me Collection is awesome. It has great coverage, and it's smooth. I only hate that the bottle is cute, but it has no pump. These are the two products I purchased in my skin color.

In Love....

I have fallen in Love with this Gorgeous man....PITBULL. Omg I swear this man is so WOW... I'm a married girl, "yes", but falling in Like with a Rapper isn't bad... He's just a dream =]
He will be Here in Colorado for Summer Jam...

Lavender, and a splash of Color

Today's weather is in the Low 50's, but I decided that this weather 

isn't gonna make my day gloomy. 

Top: Colorful Camouflage

Jeans: Black Skinnies

Shoes: Black Flats

Earrings: White Pearls

My make up was a soft Lavender, with nude lips =]

Slim Me....Star

So I have been thinking lately that I want to tone up my legs and butt, for that I would have to run, and exercise. I have thought of doing some kind of YOGA, and running at our local Park. I know there are things I'm going to have to eat less of. For Lent, I gave up Soda, and I have been drinking more WATER, but eating fast food. That hasn't really helped me lose weight, it actually keeps me the same. I want to lose a little tummy, because My Husband Jo, and I are going to be Padrinos to my cousins Quincenera.

I just need to figure out...How I can achieve my goal of 10 pounds =]

I have been having the craving for some SUSHI, and I wasn't deciding to buy any. Last night tho Joe, Anthony, and I decided to go for a walk, and on our way to nowhere we passed by a Sushi place, and OMG was I craving it more than ever. So we stopped by to get California Rolls, Surimi, Spicy Surimi, Shrimp ebi, and Edamame, my god was it GREAT food.

 

I also wanted to get some Thai food, I love food so much I just cant help but crave it. So We went off to but Pad Thai....mmmmm I haven't ate this together and may I say it was DELICIOUS =]



What's for Dinner?

We have had no Kitchen for more than 2 months already, and I swear I have gained weight just eating fast food. I don't mind weighing 125, I would like it. But I'm so used to weighing 116. Well Any ways for now we have a stove, and running water [In the Kitchen]. I have wanted to try new recipes for a long time, and also eat HOME MADE FOOD.

So this is whats for dinner:

• BBQ Chicken Breast, with a hint of pepper, and Lime.
• White Rice, made with low fat sodium Chicken Broth
• Veggies, with a hint of Pepper, and sea salt.

For Lent, I gave up Soda Pop, so I will make Jamaica Flavored Kool-Aid.

For Dessert I would really LOVE to make this NO-Bake Cheesecake

But with a 22 Month Old Little guy, nothing is possible with out him getting into EVERYTHING

Walgreens......

I usually never buy make up because I have all sorts of kind. Well I went in just for liquid foundation, because the one I use I HATE... Well At the end of the day I forgot about the foundation, and came home with eyeshadow...

And so today it's COLD.....OH wow what a surprise, Yeah I know IT"S COLORADO... but OK I want some sun in my life lol... I woke up to get ready for church.

Top: Pink sweater, Grandma Gave me

Bottoms: Light washed denim, Charlotte Russ

Earrings: Pearl's

Hair & Make-up

Simple straight hair, and black Eye liner. =]

Demo Pt 3

OK This Project should have been done so long ago. I know it's been almost 2 months already, and I hate living in a mess... The only Four rooms that are clean are as follows:

• Bathroom
• Main Bedroom
• Second Bedroom
• Living room

We still need the kitchen, Third room, Fourth room, Laundry room, and Our Barroom. Lets just hope by NEXT WEEKEND I WILL BE CLEANING AND DECORATING....

Today they have started to put in the tile....OH THANK YOU GOD!!! =]



Clip

It's been nice out all week. I love the rain, and well it hasn't been raining till midnight when Colorado's all sleeping, we seem to miss out on it. Once I wake up, I can smell the wet dirt, It reminds me of MEXICO. There's a little clip of where my roots started. I hope you enjoy...

Cloudy Days....& Sick...

Sunday Morning I felt like sh**, I had a headache, It felt like I got hit with a pan upside my head.... Today's a nice day out, it's not so cold...it's just right. Today I had to run out fast, so my outfit had to be put together with out so much thought.
Anthony was and is always well put together, I never like taking him out looking ugly... He takes a bath every day, and has his Fohawk nicely done.

MY OUTFIT.
Top: Blue Long Sleeve
Bottoms: Dark Washed Jeans
Shoes: Black Flats

MAKE-UP & HAIR
Plain eye liner, more of the natural look today....Hair just naturally dry. =]

MY BABY
Top: White Turtle Neck, and a Blue Sweater, with Light blue & yellow checkers.
Bottoms: Jeans
Shoes: Nike Shox

Nights Out Pt. 2

Oh My God, I'm sick, but that didn't stop me from having fun last night....OK I had to end the night around 12.30 I couldn't stand the loudness. [Is that even a word?] I guess life is full of germs, because I wasn't feeling so great when We got there. I like dancing, singing, and goofing off...and All of that I call a GOOD TIME. My 2nd Wedding Anniversary was March 31st, so My Hubby, my sister and my Brother-In-Law decided to go dancing. I had so much fun, even if my head was killing me, and oh yeah I'm under age...NO DRINKS FOR THE BRIDE lol...I had to start off the Night with a Monster...But my sister jacked me =]

 

Oh yeah and by the way, we were in the RED ROOM, it was so much fun, The group that was playing was dedicating songs to a bunch of people. The singer sent me "Saludos", because he said I was the first girl who knows all the "Corridos" he was singing...

Demo....Pt 2

 This is when they started taking our tile off...It took about an hour. Soon enough there will be a mewly remodled house...

INK ME...

I have always wanted a tattoo. "If you can handle having a baby, you can pretty much Take over the world, there is no pain like Labor" That's what I think every time I am ready, but then at the end of the day i chicken out lol... these are the following tattoos that I think are very nice...

The Anthony one I want on my wrist, I have always wanted a tattoo With my Son's name, and I believe this would be a great Idea

This on I just love, I would get this but like I said I would run out right when I hear it's my turn lol.....>>>>

And this is just my fave, My name is Star, and I believe this is like one of the best tattoos ever, Hey maybe one day I will have it on my back...but way smaller than this lol... =]



Demo Pt 1

This is our Kitchen....and my god if you seen this place in person you would be terrified lol... I'll be posting more pics as they progress... =]

DEMOLITION.....

Wow...I wish I would have taken pictures of our house way before they started taking the walls down... But I started taking picture of all the mess. I will soon post on here all the wonderful mess I have had to live with for two weeks...

They are remodeling the kitchen, and the back room. I sure hope every thing comes out just as my mommy pictured it...

DulceCandy87...Twist

Top: Sided Pocket [Derek Heart]

Jeans: Black Skinnys [Fragile]

Shoes: Black Flats [F21]

Bracelets: Gold 15 [Gift from my Tia Sandra]

Ring: Green Eye Gold [Gift from my mom]Earrings: Gold Hoops [F21]

Belt: Diamonds [JCP]

I got my hair Idea from DulceCandy87. I loved the way she had it on one of her post. She's really an inspiration, I love her...I get most of my ideas from her...Thank god I found her on YouTube...

My make up is a soft pink eye shadow, and a nude lip.

Random.........

This is my Oldest Nephew Aaron. What can I say about this little guy...no really what can I say lol... Aaron is about to turn 7, I can't say I don't love this dude, because I would be lying.. He slept with me all the time when he was a baby, I took care of him every day, I even took care of him during my summer breaks. I am proud to be his Tia.. =] There are times when he gets over the TOP annoying, but what kid doesn't? 

This Right here is Amari, she's the lucky one out of all girls I know. She's the most spoiled little girl I know. She's the queen, and no one yet has taken her crown, and I see it far from happening. She's going to turn 4 in July.....Oh yeah by the way I'm her MADRINA...yay me lol. She's my heart...I love her =]

Is Every one ready to meet my proud and joy Anthony...? As you just read his name is Anthony, not Antonio, but ANTHONY...people seem to switch up the name just because they speak Spanish...He's about to turn 2, Wow years are just flying by... He's a handful, trust me you think you have a full hand of M&M's, well he's falling over.. lol. He's the love of my life he's who completes me. Anthony is the KING of my heart, and what ever else he wants to do... I'm his PUPPET..he just pulls the strings and I'm there. I <3 him... 

Your welcome to meet Jacob, he's turning 1 In a month. Well he's a very calm baby, so I thought till the day He started crying right before we sat down to eat... He's adorable. In my head I think He loves me, but you never know... I like kissing him till he cries, and starts punching me... [By the way this Is Aaron's Little brother]

This is Aithen, He's turning 1 In July. He's such a cutie, He smiles, and laughs so cute. His laugh is so contagious, I'm warning you =] Aithen does so many cute things a baby his age won't do. I'm not trying to brag about my nephew, but if you were to see him, you would think the same thing... He recently had a make-over...he got his first hair cut...and he looks sexy cute lol...

Gray's and Greens...

Even in the most cloudy day, that the sun doesn't come out in shine, I have to smile to make some one's day Bright.

• Top: Black Cami [BOZZOLO], Long Sleeve Polo Perfect Fit, [Old Navy]
• Jeans: Dark Wash [ZANA DI JEANS]
• Shoes: White Skater's [VAN'S]
• Earrings: Star's
• Bracelets: None
• Necklace: None

Hair, is just a wet look, with Hair spray, and some Gel.
Make-up, Eyeliner, and mascara, with Chapstick

Look at it through My EYES....pt 1

Being me has always been hard, But today My LIFE has gotten harder. I am a 20 year old Mother and Wife. Life with me has never been easy, and I believe it will never be. I have told my self no matter how hard life gets, I will Manage to drag, crawl, bite, or run my way out, and stand up at the end . I have done good things and bad things.

Im very happy with the little guy who was sent to me. He's the most adorable little boy, he's funny and Im happy to say he's my SON... When he hurts, I hurt. I tumble down just thinking that some thing will happen to him. I have been chosen to be his mother, who protects, and Loves him, and that I asure you will never change.

WIFE...I never thought that I would make a good one, little along did I think I was going to get married at the age that I did. Life with my Joe is great. We have our ups, and them ups are great. Our down's are way Down, but we have to work out our problems. The end result is we're both just happy.

66....Thank God

• Top: black and White Tank [Sears]
• Jeans:Skinny's [F21]
• Bracelets: none
• Earrings: none
• Shoes: Black flats [F21]

So for my make-up today I decided to make it a gray smokey eye, and nude lips. I like the look Kim Kardashian is wearing, so I decided to go for it.. Hey I may like the look after all...

• Eye Shadow: M.A.C Typographic, Electra
• Eye Brow: Maybelline [blond], M.A.C Espresso
• Mascara: Maybelline Great Lash BIG Mascara
• Eye Liner: Liquid Wet~n~Wild, Jordana QuickLiner [black]
• Powder: Maybelline Loose Powder [medium]
• Concealer: Wet~n~Wild Cover All
• Lips: eos [Limon Drop]

For my hair I decided to just do loose curls, nothing huge. =]

Pride.....& JOY

This is Anthony, the man who boss's me around.
He is the best present sent from God...I mean He's a mixture of me and his dad, and I couldn't ask for more. I am truly a lucky girl to have two guys who love me, hey they may not love me as much as I love them, but Close enough lol.

Anthony was born on a hot Summer day, and that day I will always remember. He was half cooked, 6 weeks early. But came out a champ. I am proud to be a mommy of such an adorable baby....alright, alright TODDLER lol. He's such a blessing... I love him... =]

New Friends

How many of you have met a far away friend with out trying to?

Well I did. I met Amanda over Baby Center, never in a million years did I ever once think I would have a close friend that lives in New York. She's so nice, and willing to talk and hear about everthing I have to say. I have to say she's more than one of a kind. It's like I found a hidden key in the middle of nowhere. A friend is a special person, and finding friends isn't easy. One day we will get to meet, If we don't, then Im Sending Anthony on the first flight to N.Y to see his new friend Amanda J.R or Jason J.R lol....

This girl is a tough cookie...She's been through so much I wish Life would just stop bullying her. She's such a wounderful person, who deserves to be the apple of Lifes eye's... "Take a break my friend, every thing will fall into place"

“All that is gold does not glitter,
not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither,
deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
a light from the shadows shall spring.
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
the crownless again shall be king.”

-J.R.R. Tolkien

Cloudy....

Today We had an advanture, It was nice and chilly. It was snowing/raining, and under 30 Degrees.
My son was wearing his big fluffy jacket, he had some fun seeing snow fall.
We had lunch with My Husband, and his parents. It was nice to spend time together. This weather wont stop us from having fun.

Top: Red Long Sleave, Roper
Jeans: Black Skinnys, Ross
Shoes: Black Ugg's